What happens when your friends are no more your friends, but your husband’s friends have become your friends? Well, this has happened to me. After my marriage, I kept travelling with my husband due to his job. We hopped in and out of the USA, we stayed for a while in Hyderabad, we went to Japan for some time. All this travelling made it super difficult to stay in touch with my friends. They used to make plans, meet up and even post photos, I used to get annoyed because I could never meet them all and slowly, my friends stopped involving me in any of their get-togethers. It took me some time, but I was fine with it because I was never available to them. Just in a years’ time, I was pregnant, and soon I had a baby. I used to be caught up with my baby and all the routine, but my friends judged me. I won’t say they were at fault; my priorities had changed.
While I was not meeting my friends, my husband did not forget to miss his too. He kept that bond with his friends, and he made sure I meet his friends too and be good to them. I did not like making new friends at this stage. We are friends with people whom we spend most times, like in school and college and workplace. How could he expect me to be friends with his friends? It is easy to be friends when everyone’s 18. It gets harder the older you get, as you make different life choices. I was uncomfortable in the beginning, I was being judged again, I felt like being under the scanner all the time. All his friends swore by him, they were his buddies, not a word against him.
My husband was adamant; we even fought over how I was not giving it a try to be friends with his friends. I said, “Why don’t you try to be friends with my friends and their spouses and spend good time with them?” But I forgot, I have no friends. Maybe he understood it or maybe I started coming out my shell, but it happened. His friends made me comfortable, we all started having fun together. Now we all have come to such a mode, that his friends talk to me more than they do to him. They chat with me more than with him. Are they trying to be nice to me or do they really like me?
It is so good to have friends finally; they do judge me but so do I. Who in today’s world is not judgemental? I feel every friendship should have a perfect blend of all emotions to sustain.
Diary of a typical Housewife 